I had a white dress, I had a couple of hundred guests, I had a limousine, I had the beautiful honeymoon, I had a complete disaster of a marriage. We had spoken about our trip to the photoshoot, and Cara had asked about the beaches and if Tommy or I had gone topless or naked. She had also said she would sort out our outfits. After our call I realised that she didn’t know our sizes, so I checked some of Tommy’s clothes and texted all the details over.Before I knew it, it was nearly four in the. "Karen," she said in return."If you will turn yourself more to the right I'm sure nobody will see and that should more assure you that I won't see anything."I heard the rustle of her blouse as she opened a few buttons. It wasn't the first time I'd heard that sound yet it always got my attention. Next came the unsnapping of the cup of the nursing bra I was certain she wore. I heard a tiny gasp and then a soft sigh indicating she was getting the relief she needed. Wet sounds of lips suckling. I had an ankle long button down denim dress .. and nothing underneath.Joe had demanded that I leave it unbuttoned to just under my lap.I had a good feeling, and was reasonably relaxed, although there were many men who were looking at me. First we stood at the bar and got a cup of coffee. We talked a little with a tall, slightly bald guy in the fortieth, Jens, we had seen him with his wife on a previous visit, and I found him slightly attractive and easy to talk to, polite and pleasant and in no. I long to be thrown out—I want freedom, and escape, I want more, always more than I have, and can’t have it, and I feel trapped… My mother is sitting in her chair, her legs folded under her, looking pale and tight-lipped as usual. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window, and I see her face in mine and swallow hard. I am remembering—and I don’t want to remember. ***** ‘Do you love me?’ I asked him. When he kissed me, I could taste my tear as it slipped between our lips. His mouth.
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